Another way to say I am moving forward despite the obstacles I'm facing my brother Fred would respond to the question, "How are you doing?" by saying, "Puttin' one foot in front of the other and callin' it a step." During this time, we are in a global pandemic where the loss of a loved one or more than one loved one is a reality "putting one foot in front of the other" moving forward can be difficult. Add the loss of your baby during pregnancy or shortly after birth can make moving forward almost impossible.
For many, the added stress of managing economic hardship, for mother and father, adds guilt to the experience of loss. In a pregnancy/infant loss study, one father said he avoided completed applications asking how many children he had. Not having income or enough to survive increases the mindset of doing whatever is needed to survive. In the same study, one mom had saved enough money to move out on her own but found it necessary to work two jobs to pay rent, utilities, and food for herself and the younger brother she was raising.
As her pregnancy progressed, it became more difficult, but she could not stop working two jobs. She said, "I was still stressed out. I wasn't getting any rest. It was eight long laboring hours. When I would go to the clinic, they were like; you are doing too much. You have to stop. You aren't giving the baby enough rest…. I didn't really say to them what I was really going through; I had to have this job. It was the only way to support the kids and keep eating. … The money I was getting from public aid was barely enough just to pay the rent… So it would be two or three days I went without eating, just drinking water and eating crackers. One of the days, I felt the baby move. I said, "Oh, you still surviving in there?"
The reality she did not feel comfortable saying to them what she was really going through and that she could not rest enough to ensure a positive birth outcome is one reason the Saving our Babies Share Chapter was created. We provide the compassionate care you need to help you put one foot in front of the other and move forward while you hurt and heal from the loss of your precious one. Contact us go to our website www.savingourbabies.org, complete the short intake form, and anticipate connecting with us within five to seven business days.