Talking About Infant Loss With Your Extended Family
When you go through still birth or infant loss, it can be hard to relate to the people around you. As a parent, your heart is broken in a way that can feel difficult to put into words. For someone who has never had to go through the pain of losing a child, it can be impossible to identify with what you're feeling.
When you talk to your extended family about your feelings around experiencing still birth or infant loss, it's likely that you're going to hear some well-intentioned responses that only magnify the hurt you're feeling in your heart. A relative may tell you that it's for the best, or that your baby is in a better place. These things do nothing to quell the incredible grief you're feeling and can add anger to your sadness.
When someone responds to your grief in a way that makes you angry, it's ok to tell them that what they're saying is not helpful to you. You have the right to deal with your loss in a way that makes you feel comfortable and supported. When family members are doing something other than making you feel comfortable and supported, telling them how you'd like to be treated is an important part of your healing process.
While finding solace in the support of friends and family can be a helpful way to go through grief, it's also important to get the support of others who have been where you are. At Saving Our Babies and Family Engagement, we invite you to try one of our support groups for parents who have gone through still birth, miscarriage, or other pregnancy loss. You'll talk with people who understand what you're going through, and you'll have a non-judgemental place to share your experience. We know how hard it is to go through this, and we're here to support you every step of the way.